Around this time last year, friends and family gathered at my mom’s three hundred year old farmhouse for an intimate evening of food and music shared by my friend Andy Zipf. We prepared a simple meal of beef stew, roasted cabbage, braided bread, beet salad, and apple pie. The heartiest of suppers. This month, our wonderful dinner was featured in The Simple Things Magazine. Head over to The Simple Things for our recipes! Here are some lovely shapshots of our dinner, captured by my talented friend Alice Gao. And there’s a heartwarming video at the end, made by Beto Vargas with music by Andy.

 Andy and I share a strong desire to keep alive the tradition of music
as part of hospitality, part of community. Andy’s passion, throughout
his lifework as an open-hearted musician, has been to bring strangers
into community, that place where music, and all art (including
hospitality) thrives.

But Andy was just one of many
that contributed to that night’s beauty. As I began to plan the menu and
collect table settings, I realized I didn’t have fifteen complimenting
plates or napkins. I didn’t even have a table that was large enough to
fit this small crowd. So, in my necessity, I did was isn’t popular in
these days of self-sufficiency and composed appearances. I asked for
help.

 I borrowed some plates and drinking glasses, even a few chairs. A
longer table was added to the farmhouse’s parlor. I made fringey napkins
out of thrifted plaids and improvised with an assortment of wooden
bowls for the stew, borrowed from a family member. And friends arrived
early to help set the table and put the finishing touches on the meal.
Jessica even contributed two steaming loaves of freshly baked, braided
bread. We stayed warm throughout the evening as Eric maintained the
fire. And Mariah did a little of everything, from peeling apples for the
pie, to chopping veggies for the stew, and sweeping of the chestnut
wood floors.

This gathering taught me a little about my friends and family. They each had something unique to offer and contribute to our lovely dinner. Not everyone knew each other. But it all worked out, and wonderfully. At a larger gathering, sometimes it’s a bit difficult for people to feel at ease and comfortable enough to open up and help out. But if you ask for help, and appreciate each person for their unique gift, your guests will feel like they belong and will demonstrate a beautiful willingness to offer themselves in a very generous way.

It’s in these last minute preparations that you forge friendships and meaningful conversations. While slicing lemons in the kitchen, we learn about our friends’ childhood lemonade stands. Memories are aroused and memories are shared, creating a deep bond that might not have been made outside the shared kitchen and table experience.

Contributions to a gathering make guests feel needed and appreciated. Rather than being partitioned off in the kitchen, alone, while the guests mingle and you work on final preparations, you can ask for a helping hand. Hand a guest a wooden spoon and ask him to stir the gravy. Give a book of matches to another, and ask her to light the candles. And later, after many hands make light the work of the cleanup, the music will start.

Who’s with me for the next time friends and family gather together for great food and music?